Utterly wrong direction.
We all know that feeling that you can be so extremly exhausted about something… anything.
For example you painted the walls, you refurnished the floor, you worked for hours and hours, and all that energy was not spend wrong.
It was good work, meaningful work, but the energy was could have been meant to be somewhere else.
And you are the only one who knows where you had to spend it. And you refused to spend it in the right direction.
It could be that with every stroke you painted, you covered your own heart to hide the deeper reasons of your soul. Protecting to let them come to the surface.
With every stroke your heart is more and more locked in, in a white plastered grave.
Lovely painting but all that energy is put in a utterly wrong direction.
Do we always know and dare to steer in the right direction? I don’t.
But just this week, I realized that I am spending a lot of hours a week in the wrong direction..
Now I only need the courage to steer right, focused and let go of certain things. A loveley friend from England gave me once this prayer, and my sister in law send it also a few years later. Now I need to remind myself again:
Lord, grand me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
I wrote this blog last week. And it was here that I stopped.
I had an exctreemly difficult situation and was about to give up my job. But now I can finish this part of the journey and have to add this:
God granted me that courage to bring a little change, and the outcome is even better than I could have dreamed. God granted me to stand up for people without a voice. It was exctreemly exhausting like the final battle in Narnia. I had to hold on, hold on, hold on, but finally in one short clear conversation I could let go and let others make decissions.
That was were grace entered. What a mystery to live, to be alive and to stand up. Till now I didn’t know how deeply satisfiying this was.
We can be on a track and have to steer in a different way.
It is never to late to steer right and go back on track just in His footsteps, the only right track.
I am sure that with God’s grace you know the only right track. And I am also sure that God will grand you the courage to steer right, I wish you a safe journey.
Invite Him on board, and you don’t travel alone.